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Unfortunately, tonight was no different from the previous nights. I knew well by this time that the problem that I was having wasn’t physical but more psychological. To be frank, I was stressed and deeply disturbed by the choice that I had to make. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to live my life involved with the mafia; on the other hand, I couldn’t bring myself to let go completely of Hayden.

I sighed loudly and before I could think twice, I started dialing a number. I’ve saved this number for a while now thinking that I will probably need it.

"Hi. Sorry for calling so late but do you have a car that I can rent right now?" I spoke through the phone.

"Of course. We are open 24 hours so there’s no need to apologize and of course we have many cars available for rent. Are you looking for something specific?" a man’s voice replied.

Within 20 minutes, the car that I had rented arrived at the bottom of my apartment building. The young man who came to drop off the car at my place gave me a polite smile before asking me to make the deposit and sign some papers.

"Where you off to so late at night?" the guy asked in wonder.

I knew that it wasn’t my responsibility to tell him where I was going, and neither was it his business.

"A graveyard," I replied before handing him the signed documents.

…

I’ve only been to this graveyard once before with Hayden and that day it was also late at night at around this time. That day Hayden couldn’t go to sleep and had asked me to join him on a ride. That somehow led us here to the Torex’s family graveyard.

I first thought that the place was located in such a mysterious location; however, upon looking it up on the map in my phone, the location was publicized publicly just like any other location. It was named simply: Torex cemetery.

The wind was howling when I finally parked my car at the grass landing and got out. The wind in my hair made me feel slightly better about myself and I didn’t know why. I remembered Hayden parking his car somewhere around here when we came here together and if I was right, if I walk up the hill here then I’ll arrive at the graveyard.

Hopefully, the lights would be on again today just like it was on that day.

Now that I have arrived at the graveyard after a climb that left me quite breathless, I wasn’t fully certain why I had come here. Perhaps it was because I was feeling restless and sleepless. Perhaps it was because I miss and wanted to see Hayden. Perhaps it was because I thought that I would figure something out if I came here.

I don’t know how I remembered so well but somehow; I was able to navigate my way to Harvey’s tombstone through the rows of other identical tombstones. The flashlight from my phone showed me the inscription of his name and that told me that I had finally arrived at my destination.

It wasn’t like I expected to see Hayden hanging around here waiting for me to arrive; however, I still felt a slight feeling of disappointment at the fact that I was the only one here. I spent a while deep in thought as I just stared at Harvey’s tombstone.

"Hi Harvey. Nice to meet you for the second time. Sorry that I didn’t bring you any flowers…" I said as I crouched down in front of his tombstone.

I’ve come quite far in my life now to reach the point of talking to a tombstone of someone that I didn’t even personally know. Fortunately, no one replied to my monologue. The only sound that I heard was the wind blowing against my ear and face.

"Harvey…what really happened to you and Amelia?" I asked before the wind blew my words away.

I wondered if I asked Hayden again, would he tell me. If I told him that I chose a life with the Mafia just so that I could be with him again, would he tell me everything?

"Hayden asked me if I want a life to do with the mafia and I’m just not sure. But I also don’t want to lose Hayden. I don’t think that I can be truly happy without him. What should I do?"

The silence and lack of response was unnerving. Maybe it would be better if the tombstone could talk and give me some advice. I smiled at my own foolishness as that thought ran through my head.

"Harvey…you’ve forgiven Hayden, right? There’s no way that you’re still mad at your little brother, right?" I asked as I continued to stare at his tombstone.

"You think?"

I heard a man’s voice reply to my question and I jumped up and screamed. Covering my eyes with my hands, I continued to scream. There’s a ghost! Really?!

Harvey…

"Stop screaming. You’re disturbing the dead…" the voice said, sounding slightly irritated.

I shut my mouth at the same time that my hands were pulled away from my eyes. I blinked in shock and confusion at the man standing in front of me. He’s not a ghost, right?

"Hayden…" I whispered half in disbelief and half in relief.

"Yes, I’m Hayden. Harvey is dead so he’s no longer here," Hayden said with slight annoyance that he had to explain something as obvious as that to me.

"Why did you creep up on me suddenly like that? I was so scared…" I whined.

"I didn’t creep up on you. I’ve been standing here for a while now, but you were too wrapped up in your conversation with my brother’s tombstone that you didn’t realize…" Hayden said with a shrug.

--To be continued…